Battleawesome Awesomestar

So on Saturday, I went to see an improv show with my friends, Elaine, Marc, Aaron, and some others. It was based off of the hit tv series, Battlestar Galactica. The show was called Battleawesome Awesomestar and was hosted at Bad Dog Theatre Company.

While we were waiting for the show to start, one of the actors came in looking for someone to play Gaius Baltar. Elaine, Mark, and Aaron found it hilarious to point to me. So it was decided that I would participate in their show.

"Not to worry", Elaine said. "Just follow the girl around and do what she tells you to."

Not realizing that I had just been offered up as a sacrifice on the altar of comedy, I settled into my seat hoping that perhaps by clipping the "Gaius Baltar" name tag on Elaine, they would take her instead. She was not amused.

The show started with a woman asking the audience for an object that would be the main focal point of the production. "Swords" won the draw. The story begins with someone having stolen all the swords off our ship leaving us defenseless against the robots (called cylons) that wanted to extinguish human civilization. Yes, that is right: We upgraded our guns to swords, then threw our guns out of the airlocks.

My opening scene begins with the President seeking my counsel (I play a prominent scientist) on what to do about this matter of being sword-less, and thus defenseless. The president (Lee) and his aide (Billy) stared at me while waiting for my response. It was at that moment, I realized that Elaine was probably wrong and that I had to say something. Keeping in mind, I have to figure out a response WHILE this woman (someone that resembles her including the very low cut dress) is caressing me. (In the show, Gaius is delusional and sees this woman in his mind when no one else does.)

I somehow manage to stumble out that we should combine sticks with knives to make SPEARS! Apparently, the sword robber decided to steal only all our swords, and we had plenty of sticks and daggers. They also wondered how my progress was for detecting the cylons that could look like humans (the woman is one of them). I suggested that my "preliminary" research indicated that they were most likely to be left-handed. The president and his aide found this to be a stroke of genius, and I was mercifully allowed off the stage.

My second scene included the admiral (Adama) of the Battlestar Galactica, his drunkard executive officer (Tigh), the president, his aide, and the cylon woman in my mind. They asked me why I kept saying "preliminary". In my defense, I was nervous. In my response, I said that it was for the research grants. The audience really liked my reply. The XO asked me how I was doing with my cylon-detecting machine. I asked him if he should be getting another drink. The cast really liked that answer. :P

All in all, it was a pretty fun experience. I have to thank God that it wasn't too embarrassing. And that He gave me a couple of lines to make it memorable.

Notable Moments: (In no particular order)
- Kara cutting off Gaeda's leg. Gaeda had to act with one leg for the rest of the night.
- Billy, the president's aide, always following the president around. ALWAYS. He also tape records awkward stuff. He was video-recording the president making out with Kara for his collection.
- Gaeda, forgetting that all the guns were gone, holds an invisible gun to a cast member's head. He is reminded and switches his gun to a pointy stick.
- Flat Top, with his irritable bowel syndrome. Yes, fart and poo jokes are funny.
- The president forgetting the admiral's name (the admiral is his father in the show).