Anxious?

Allow me to alleviate the anxiety of my affectionate allies by analyzing the accounts for my accruing apprehension. I assure you that I am abiding (or attempting to abide) in our awesome Almighty.

The things that worry me most:

My Family - Immediate / Extended

It saddens me to know that my immediate family will spiritually die. I am frustrated in the stupidity of the reasoning for my mother's lack of faith. My brother and father are different stories. I don't see God moving here.

My cousins are mostly non-Christian. There are a couple here and there that are Christians. God is moving here.

My Church - Zoe / SS / Youth

I know that God is working in the fellowship. I feel I have dropped the ball recently, though. I cannot get my act together spiritually, and thus everyone suffers. I have too many questions, and no answers. Too much work, and no rest. The stupid thing is, I do this to myself. In all seriousness, our fellowship is good. There are areas to improve, but we have solid Christians seeking out His will. Now, if I could lead to where I feel God has called us to go...that would be awesome.

SS and Youth are a whole new ballgame. I worry that the reason why MCAC has so many people leaving the church when they "grow up" is due to our lack of a solid Biblical foundation. We don't train our children, so what hope do they have when they encounter "real life". We are weak on Christ and "great" on promoting family values (on how to handle money, and who not to date.) and fun times.

My Future - Career / Rest/Fun Things

My mom gets mad at me when I take my career so lightly. In some weird way, I wish I was free to go do whatever. Sadly, people need money to live. (And with my outlook on the economy, it is not prudent to just take time off and play around). Thus, I need to plan out stuff.

I feel very guilty when I rest or do fun things. I do not think this is of God. Everything I buy, I second guess...I need approval. Every minute I spend on games, I worry what others think. This cannot be sustained. I have to answer to God and God alone. Is the route that He has paved for me, lined with endless theology books to digest and absorb? Or can a man be afforded some of the luxuries provided by a next-gen console?

There is probably more... but, this inescapable burden has been on my heart. More to come...as this captures only part of the story.