Update

Update for this. Okay, for everyone that is worried. Apologies, I did not post the conclusion.

Even after talking with Pastor Scott, I felt incredibly burdened. It was indescribable...(and not the indescribable, unchangeable, you put the stars in the skies and you know them by name... indescribable).

Now, I realize that I have been sorely lacking in Bible reading, and prayer time. I spend all time with what I can only describe as "fake" prayer and full of worry.

I opened my bible to Psalm 67. That gave a lot of comfort.

On Zoe, I opened my bible to... Gal 6:9 (God is funny.)

So things are well. I am slowly coming back to things, and tackling the sources that have led me astray...despite them being "noble" things. So thank you all of my friends for your concern. God is gracious in dealing with me.